Sometimes you fall instantly and madly in love with a dog and sometimes that love has to grow. With this 14 and a half year old mix between a Labrador and a pointer it was the latter.
My Dad pointed her out because she looked exactly like the dog I grew up with. So my heart melted for my Dad and I agreed on the dog. She was 4 years old, exactly as old as our son. She was big and black, a very sweet dog, no bad bone in her body. And she was crazy about playing with tennis balls.
It took us a whole year to get used to each other. Epilepsy was the first hurdle we took and overcame. You tried to walk away with other people, they probably seemed nice too, so I would hurry after you to get you back. You tried every insane dog-action that exists and I handled the consequences: bruises, eating chocolate, cuts and a twig in your chest. We conquered it all.
You barked and howled when you were alone and it looked like you were not able to relax. I tried everything until someone who had studied long and hard to know every detail about dogs pointed out to me that you were highly alert on me but very calm when I was calm. It was an eye opener, I decided to let it go and just let you be you. My superpower in the making, right then and there: letting go!
Amazingly, you calmed down, were quiet when you were alone and you let me see your awesome self. You listened so very well, wanted to please and work hard, you were always ready to play. You were amazing with kids; our son was crazy about you. He grew up with you, so you became that special dog for him. You were so full of life, so much ‘Joie de vivre’, we never had a dull moment. You were the example dog all our friends and family were in awe of. You healed so many people from the fear of dogs.
You were my sidekick, the reason to take a walk every day, the calm when I needed it the most, the fun machine when I needed a dance partner, and you trusted me when things got difficult.
Hanging out together, long walks in the forest, biking to school and back, enjoying stormy days and the sea, getting through scary thunder storms and even scarier fireworks. When things happened in front of us we looked at each other with understanding. We even had stomachaches on the same day. Our love grew deeply. Your trust in me balanced me out, made me feel more like myself.
As walking became harder for you and your sight slowly went away you still looked at me with those trusting eyes: “I know how you feel because I feel it too”.
And now I have to find a way to let you go forever.
I will remember my superpower because you showed me what it can do. I’ll never forget your love and those trusting eyes looking at me.